If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
