Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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