I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
