I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
