Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
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