just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I think i got beer on your cat.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
