I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
