When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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