Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
