My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You made out with two different species that night
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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