But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
