Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Randomize
