i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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