When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
