His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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