It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
