using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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