i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize