I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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