Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
