i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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