I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
