he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
