my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
