For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Green mimosas i think yes
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
