you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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