im drinking this country out of the recession.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
