went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
