But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
