Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
