I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
