You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
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you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
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I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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