I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
