yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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