somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
