Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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