she looked like the before picture.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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