small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
