6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
