saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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