Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
