and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
