once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
