do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
