Having a random hookup so left but love u
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
