tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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