drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
this is an emotional support booty call
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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