What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
