And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
