i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
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We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
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This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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