I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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