We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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