Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Of course I have a pirate flag
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I forgot wine drunk hurts
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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