The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
