I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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