In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You're like the curious george of whores
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
