East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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