Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
